serendipity
There is a project I want to do with my children – one that involves bringing a large bedsheet (or sheet of paper) outside and going crazy with paint, using hands, feet, legs, knees, elbows, etc.
I thought it would be very freeing for them, as well as for me, since I’m constantly going around picking everything up like a madwoman, while my kids run around giggling and throwing various items around, making forts with all the pillows in the house, strewing costumes on the floor, leaving cracker crumbs and orange juice puddles in their wake. I find myself shrieking at them, “Don’t make a mess! Don’t spill that! Pick that up! Close that lid! That’s an OUTSIDE toy! Blah blah blah blah blah…”
I recently commented on this lovely woman’s blog, regarding mess and how I need to let go of my tidy self. I wrote about how urgent it is that I get a perspective on all of this, this need for order, this silly resolve of making the impermanent, permanent – like re-building a sand castle situated too close to the incoming waves, over and over again, on the brink of insanity. To let go of myself, and to just breathe and be in the moment, with the chaos, the mess.
And I wrote about my idea of letting Jack and Liv paint, paint, paint – of letting them FINALLY be able to make as much mess as they like, to color themselves with abandon, to be at one with self-expression and delight.
To just let go.
Then I found this.
Not a few days later. Not an hour later. DIRECTLY after I made the comment. I innocently clicked on a link, and there it was.
I know, I know. There are many who would tell me that this is just a coincidence. But, truly, I feel that when things like this happen, I need to pay attention. Because perhaps there is something for me to listen to. Perhaps there is a lesson in there, somewhere.
(Well, I guess there’s ALWAYS a lesson. But perhaps this lesson is pertinent to me, in this space, in this time).
Also, there’s been a lot of talk about creating one’s own happiness, controlling how one thinks, and letting go of the negative, to turn it around to the positive. My lovely friend Victoria talks about it here, I just read a book about it here, and have recently had conversations about it with people completely unrelated to one another.
What is all this?
At time, it’s like I’m beating my head against the proverbial brick wall. And other times, the path clears and suddenly I’m onto something, sliding down. Like a cosmic game of Chutes and Ladders, except that the chutes, in this case, are a good thing.
Life is so much like a winding fractal, one thing going into another, for all eternity. We make bad choices, certainly, but no matter what choice we make, we wind down to another set of circumstances, and from there another.
I know that this is all self-evident, and I’m not hitting on anything particularly novel. But I am reminded of how serendipity tends to lead me to the next phase, to a new insight – or one that needs to be looked at again. And how, in a very generous and tender way, leads me home.
loooove the festival of colors link! i hadn’t anything about that in a long time and i’ve been sitting here all bored and dull for a few days now, and then i click on your little ‘this’ and POW! nothing better than getting hit with color, is there?
that serendity is happening since you invited oya into your life as a muse, perhaps?
we really should have a more indepth convo about her privately…m at cc has my email and you are welcome to it…
I have been reading your clog and all the interesting comments and am so enjoying it. I am a believer in synchronicity and aligning yourself with whatever it is that makes things flow. It is hard because I so am you in your last blog about your frustrations, and my wish list looks alarmingly similar. Life is a journey and most often the most profound realizations are the simplest, but ones that nobody really gets. There are different levels of understanding and understanding the simplest is the most profound, I think.
I want to paint with you guys and be a blue gypsy, too!
Cathy, I just can’t tell you how I feel when i look at those pictures. It’s absolutely breathtaking. Surreal. And just, so, well…full of beauty. (Oh, hell. Words just don’t work, sometimes. Sometimes, the pictures do the talking).
You raise quite an interesting point about Oya. I have been thinking about her, inviting her in, etc. I’d LOVE to talk to you about her further! I’ll get in touch with M for your info.
Love to you, friend.
xo
Jo, I KNOW. It always comes down to the fact that the simplest things are also the most difficult. I recently heard a discussion about this – I can’t remember where or when. In it, there was a parable that goes something like this: A man traveled to a far-off yogi, to ask how he might become enlightened. The yogi told him to practice happiness. The man became upset, and said, “But, that is so simple. Even a child knows that.” The yogi replied, “Yes, you did know that when you were a child. But you are a child no longer.”
I guess what I’m saying is, it’s the simple things that are so unattainable. Things get so murky and complicated, that we all forget to do things like love one another and be happy. Oh, and to breathe. Breathing’s important, too.
I wish you could come and paint with us, too! Unfortunately, I think we’re on opposite ends of the coast. Maybe we can be gypsy sisters in spirit.
xo
Serendipity occurs when you’re open to it, I think.
And that link to the festival of colors? *Amazing.* Yes, breathtaking. Thank you.
I hope you and Jack and Liv all have fun with your own paint festival!