people are good
Yes, they really are.
Lately, not only did a few good people cheerfully and benevolently help me out when I needed it, but they also helped redeem my view of human nature in general. I had always thought people were generally good, all the way up until maybe about a year ago, when some surprising cynicism set in (at which point I thought only SOME people were good, and the rest were rather the moral equivalent of an oyster cracker).
Now, I’m happy to report, the people-are-good-and-frankly-don’t-suck-at-all mentality has been re-confirmed.
For one thing, the people who helped me out were, in some part, people whom I don’t know very well. That, in itself, tells you something about human nature. Also, the wonderful deeds performed were unsolicited, which really blew me away at the time.
To really understand the depth of goodness and kindness of people, you could take a look at your children. (Or, if you don’t have any children, take a look at your cousin Sue’s children, or your friend Alvin’s children). There are some serious things to learn, just by observing them.
For example, my young daughter has a frilly, frou-frou-ish princess dress that she loves, and lately she has been dragging it around the house, calling it “Zero.”
“Come along, Zero,” she says, as she takes the dresses’ hand and leads it from room to room. And then she stops. And gives it a big kiss, right smack on its frills.
“Mommy,” she says earnestly, looking at me with her big, solemn, incredibly brown eyes, “Zero is hungry. Can I give her my blueberries?”
Her BLUEBERRIES.
If you only knew how much the child covets blueberries, you would know that it is the ultimate gesture of affection, this sharing of the blueberries. It is the ultimate portrait of human goodness and selflessness, in action.
I could also come up with multiple examples of human kindness reflected in our boy Jack. For instance, he is always writing me notes and slipping them to me when I most need them – notes that say, “I love you,” or, “Cheer up, Mommy,” or, “I’m sorry,” or “Come downstairs and play Star Wars with me, NOW.”
(The “I’m sorry” one gets to me every time, particularly because it typically comes after I’ve yelled about something, and then go away to cry, which is my usual drill. Then he comes in with this note and a hug, you see. And I feel very small, and realize how very big he is).
And all you friends, who are consistently instrumental in helping me gain the clarity that I need – especially right now in this strange time of such obscurity – you show me how wonderful people can be, and I have so much gratitude, I can hardly stand it.
So, in lieu of all this kindness handed to me, I guess I’d better think of ways I can be a better, more caring and thoughtful person. Some potential and personal acts of kindness might be…
1. Give someone a break. Did they snarl at me? Not say “thank you” at the store? Cut me off while driving? They might be having a horrible day. Maybe they’re having difficulty in a relationship. Maybe someone they know is very sick. Maybe THEY are very sick. Don’t judge until I’ve walked in their shoes.
2. Answer all those e-mails. I have so many messages I’ve left unanswered, mostly because I read them, say to myself, “AH, self, you must reply!” And then let them go, and they get all buried in there. And some of them are dear, dear friends, too. Who are probably racking their brain wondering why I’m not responding.
3. Don’t forget birthday cards/gift. NEVER forget birthday cards/gifts. Use sticky notes, sticking them everywhere so that I might not forget birthday cards/gifts. Glue them onto my head, if necessary. That is all I have to say about this one.
4. If someone is being difficult, always know that they are feeling bad and quite possibly need my patience and understanding more than ever. Don’t react negatively, just be there to listen and to support. (see #1).
5. Regardless on how anyone else is behaving, I can only just be who I am, so stop trying to force my judgments and opinions on them, or try to tell them what they should do. Recognize that they are being themselves at this moment, and remember that I have my moments, too.
“No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves.”
-Amelia Earhart
“When one has once fully entered the realm of love, the world – no matter how imperfect – becomes rich and beautiful, it consists solely of opportunities for love.”
-Soren Kierkegaard
yes, nice to have your faith in humankind restored now and again. random acts of kindness, I think, tend to come when we most need them.
nice list, as well (I am terrible about getting birthday cards out…will have to work on that!).
it’s good to be good. (a la mel brooks, it’s good to be the king)
nice to take stock on how you treat others, especially when you’ve just recognized the kindnesses shown to you.
a favorite quote to add to yours at the end: ‘Peace unto me. Peace within me. Peace in my mind. Peace in my surroundings. Peace to all. Peace to the Universe. May there be Peace in the World. May there be Peace all over the World forever.’ Yogi Bhajan
if there is peace in your heart, peace goes out to the world.
my nephew’s bday is tomorrow – no card yet, or gift card! yet just yesterday my son whose bday was 4.28 just received the above from that same brother o’ mine’s family…so i’m not too concerned….it just makes the birthday last longer.
I would like to add one to your list–to be good and kind to yourself, most especially. It seems in times that are…different from other times…trying perhaps…we often forget to forget to be gentle with ourselves as we are with others. To extend ourselves the same courtesies and indulgences.
I dig the images that are planted in your post like sunflowers in a sea of words.
I submit that inside all of us is the desire to be helpful, to be useful, to be kind, to make the world a better place.
[...] Mary Duquette’s faith in human nature is restored. [...]
Life – these moments definitely arise when we most need them. Funny the way life works that way – incredible, actually, if we pay attention, how much we are taught, simply by just being alive and being present. There is no person who cannot teach me, and there is no lesson I am too wise to learn. No matter how many times I feel as if I am achieving some sort of wisdom, ultimately I fall back into a pattern of hopelessness, and am so grateful when other people step up to whisk me out.
You are one of those people, by the way. Thank you for your incredible friendship. xo
Cathy, I love that quote. There can never be too much peace, beginning with oneself. It simply spreads, as does love. I think the two go hand in hand. Peace and love. So simple, yet so difficult for people to obtain. It’s the human condition, I suppose, yet my flower-child-self sometimes sits aghast at all the fear and loathing going on around this planet.
And now, I’ve just realized this moment that I TOTALLY spaced out on my nephew’s birthday, which was yesterday. So much for lists.
Jo, I got weepy reading your comment. You are so right. When I think of how I talk to myself sometimes, my internal conversation going on, it makes me shudder. I am WAY too hard on myself, seeking perfection, etc. But I think people are perfect and imperfect, loving and harsh, afraid and courageous, and that is just being human. If we accept all these things in ourselves, we are certainly going to accept them in other people.
Thank you for adding perhaps the most important list item of all! xo
Gustav, thank you! I love those images, too. They are all so different, but reflect the different aspects we all hold inside, each of us possessing all the elements of humanity. I think we are all good at heart, too, and I think, no matter how terribly someone behaves, way deep inside a person is simply wanting to love and to be loved. I think of children, and cannot believe that there is any one person born that doesn’t come into this world with the blueprint of being capable of love. It’s what happens afterward to people, that makes the difference – it’s experience that makes them fearful, and alienated (in my opinion).
Fear = opposite of love.
xo